Kids say the darndest things!

10/19/10: Jacob and Julia pass notes, see blog post for photos of the exchange.

8/11/12 Logan: “What’s your favorite assault rifle, Mom?”
(Oh, he’s playing a video game. Phew!)

8/11/12 Jacob: “Is it ok if I paint my monkeys in the kitchen?”
(craft project, ceramic monkeys)

8/12/12 Jacob: “I thought BeBe was your sister. You’re telling me she’s my grandmother ?!?!””
(I guess we forgot to mention BeBe is our word for grandmother, haha! OOPS!)

2/4/13 Me: “Jacob you didn’t finish scooping the kitty litter, go back and get the rest”
Jacob: “I scooped all the poop, Mom. Those other things are just rocks”

2/4/13 Jacob (AGAIN): “I thought BeBe was your sister.”

3/23/13 Jacob: “I have to go fishing early tomorrow morning because the fish go to bed at 9am”.

5/28/13 On the way to school this morning Jacob sends me a text from the back seat, “I love you all the way to the moon and back”. Sweetest kid ever.

7/16/13 I’m in Oklahoma on business for Spartan College, and I call Jacob.
Me: “I miss you, Jacob.”
Jacob: “Already?? It’s only been 2 days!”
Me: “Well don’t you miss me?”
Jacob: “No, but I probably will tomorrow.”

7/17/13 I’m still in Tulsa; Jacob’s at his weekly board game meet.
Me: “Do you miss me today?”
Jacob: “Yeah. And mom, I have a game I want to bring home. It’s pretty cool and it’s easy enough that you could play it.”

8/10/13 In the back seat of the car, misreading a coupon that advertises seafood.
Jacob: “Do you know if catfish legs taste good?”
image

9/2013, Random
Logan called the Chick-fil-A grilled chicken sandwich a “Love Burger” (because he loves it so much)
Jacob eats ketchup and mustard on any kind of sandwich (ham, turkey, etc.)

10/14/2013, Jacob was pissed because he was craving Publix fried chicken and I refused to go get it. He was having a bad day for sure.
138179734123312/29/13, Jacob calls his big toe is “thumb toe”. So cute.

20130804_180804_000012/30/13, Jacob informs me that when he get sweaty his armpits sometimes smell like onions. He follows that by spraying his pits with Axe body spray and shouting “AAAAAAAGH! MY ONIONS!”

3/16/14, On our walk back to the car after snow skiing at Massanutten, “Mom, I think my legs are about to pass out”.

 

8/7/14, We have one cat (Casper) that is… um… not very sharp. He doesn’t even know his name. Bless his heart.
wpid-casper-1.jpgLast night Jacob was naming his new Mexican Jumping Beans and decided to rename poor dumb Casper while he was at it. So after living with us for 3 years now, Casper is now referred to as “Neutron”. It’s actually a cool name – way better than Casper (a name he came with from the rescue organization).

 

 

8/8/14, I encourage him to dress a little nicer for Meet the Teacher at his new school today.
Jacob [whining]: But whyyyyy?
Me: Because you want to impress the girls, don’t you?
Jacob: NO. When I grow up I’m going to marry my laptop.
Me: Your laptop?! (he doesn’t have a laptop yet)
Jacob: Yes. Her name will be Karen.

8/9/14 Jacob’s term for fart: “bust a stinky”.

8/18/14 Jacob gets a laptop for his birthday. Names it Karen.

9/4/14 Jacob says, in a very serious tone, “Mom, I would like a little alone time with my wife, please.”
(ref: “Karen”, above)

10/4/15 Jacob and I have a conversation about death and religion (where do we go when we die). I explained that it’s different for different people, based on what they believe in. I told him I don’t believe we go anywhere, I believe when we die that’s it – it’s over. He said “So you don’t believe in anything that’s not based on logic???” I told him that’s correct. He was shocked, so I asked what he believed in that wasn’t based on logic, he said “God and zombies”.

3/14/18 Jacob said on the way to school today, “I haven’t decided if I want to be an Engineer, an Architect, or a Chef when I grow up.” I assured him he still has plenty of time to decide.

8/14/18 Second day of high school. Jacob tells me he figured out how he can take enough classes over the summer to skip 12th grade completely. I asked him why he would want to skip 12th grade, he said so he can work a full time job while still living with his parents and therefore save all the money he makes (not having to pay rent/mortgage), then buy his own house boat to move onto when he turns 18! :-O I asked if he would park it next to mine at the marina, he said “Sure!” – haha! 🙂 This kid.

8/15/18 Third day of high school, Jacob says, “I’m the youngest one in my math class, yet I am the smartest”.  [insert proud mom smile here]